What's With You?
by OhArizona
Summary: Bella and Jasper nodded their heads quickly, and Rosalie gained a beautiful smirk on her beautiful face. "That is correct." The two said at the same time. Sometimes I wondered if they were twins, literally. One-Shot Series.
1. Surpassed The Master

**EPOV:**

Her beautiful brown eyes were like swimming pools, filled with the most delicious thing; her love for me. I loved this girl so much, that I couldn't resist being without her, watching her debate with my dear little brother was hard enough to let her do on her own. Her cries of protest against him were flawless - sometimes, she wouldn't even let him retaliate against her. To think, in just a few short months, I would be able to claim her as my own, and shower her with anything she wished for. For now, just being in her presence was enough.

"Emmett, humor me, please. Major over rules Lieutenant." she hissed at him. Wait. My sweet Bella can hiss? Or she's been hanging around with us for too long. I say it's the latter.

"No way! Lieutenant over Major!" he boomed back, playfully, knowing that I'd gladly rip him to shreds if it was any other way. He knows this how? Because I've ripped him to pieces once before, over a trivial matter.

She sighed, and looked to Jasper, an evil glint in her eyes. "Hey, Jazzy-bear, doesn't Major go over Lieutenants?" she said. Jasper gave a grin at his nickname, he admitted to only letting sweet Bella call him that, he even enjoyed it. Alice, of course, didn't mind it much, because she knew her 'sister' far too well. Maybe better than myself.

"Well, Jingle Bells, I believe it does. Oh wait, not believe, but it DOES over rank them. I would know." Jasper grinned again, and leaned to his left, where Bella had sat, and pecked her forehead. You see, my idiotic brothers had made the habit of having her sit between them. They said it was safer. I scoffed when they said it, but let it lie. My dear Bella however, loved the arrangements, because I had been sat on the other table end by Rosalie. Sad.

She grinned at her new nickname and turned to Emmett. "Pay up Emmy-boy. You know the bet. $50 to me, and $50 to Jazzy-bear." My girlfriend was diabolical, and running my brother broke. I always knew his gambling would catch up to him. Never thought it would be because of my sweetheart, though.

He grumbles under his breath, but of course, us vampires heard it, and Rosalie lightly thumped him for it. She shook her head as he began passing out his money in fifty dollar bills. He then slapped it into their hands, and stood up with his untouched tray, grumbling.

As he was walking off, Alice had a last chance vision and began lightly laughing, blocking me from any thoughts she was having. Of course, she chose the most annoying to block me though; 'I Kissed A Girl'. I groaned, and turned to look at Bella, she was gone. I looked around the cafeteria and found her behind Emmett.

"Hey Emmett!" she exclaimed, throwing shudders down his back. When she did, the cafeteria went absolutely silent. Jasper was grinning, Rosalie was ignoring everything and everyone, and Alice was still laughing. I, on the other hand, was confused.

He turned around quickly, much faster than he should have, and Bella spoke again. _"There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it." _she said, with an evil grin. My big lug of a brother glared, before laughing, the rest of the cafeteria following him, and I, finally knowing what was so funny. In the midst of laughing, I swear I could've heard Jasper say 'I've taught her well. She has surpassed the master.'

**AN: Okay, so this came out of nowhere, but the quotes were just too good that I couldn't resist NOT using them. Free to review. More soon. :3 1-11-09 revisions were made.**


	2. Pixiepire

**BPOV:**

Alice. She was a very demented little pixie vampire, who always wanted to take ME of all people, shopping. Why she wanted to do that, I did not know. Her evil little eyes were knotted into slits as I slid into her yellow Porchse. When I turned my head to look at her golden eyes, she grinned. I sighed.

"Oh, you'll live through this." she said through her perfect teeth. I glared now, harder than what could ever be imagined at a vampire.

"Oh come on Bella! I'm not _that_ bad!" she exclaimed now, looking at me like she was going to start dry sobbing. "Pwease? For me?"

"Oh fine." I hissed, and focused on the fast moving road ahead of me. What a demented little pixiepire.

"I am not a pixiepire." I faintly heard Alice say, as we pulled into the parking lot to the Seattle Mall. My sister was grinning with glee, sad enough.

"How'd you know?" I asked, sighing as I got out of her evil little car, and strode to the front - without tripping - mind you.

"I saw you spray painting it on my precious's window. don't you dare, Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen." Well gee, there goes my plan for tomrrow. Maybe, no, don't think about it.

"You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you." I said with a grin, before we went into the mall.

"Why thank you." Alice said, and quickly headed towards Victoria's Secret. Groaning, I followed.

**A/N: Little weird, yes, But totally worth it. Thanks Ami-chan for the idea of using the zombie quote. 1-11-09 revisions made.**


	3. A Civil Civil War?

**A/N: Hey, been awhile guys. Here's the update for ya. & reader13lovesbooks: Yes. MANY. Though, she'll have more by the time this is all over. x3**

**EMPOV:**

My dearest wife, and most beautiful of all, Rosalie was arguing with Jasper and Bella over the Civil War. We knew Jasper was sure to win, but then again, Jasper had been teaching Bella just about everything there was to know about guns and wars. Heh. That could be a parody of _Guns and Roses_. Man, I side-track easily, don't I? Whatever. Oh, hey, Eddie's glaring at me. _"Stop glaring." _I quickly thought, and went back to watch the fight again.

"So, Jasper, Bella, you say you know all about the Civil War, correct?" My darling wife questioned my older brother and younger sister. She had a mysterious aura coming off her, and I'm pretty sure Jazzo could feel it too. I looked over to Edward for an answer, and he nodded slightly at me, showing Jazzo felt it too.

Bella and Jasper nodded their heads quickly, and Rosalie gained a beautiful smirk on her beautiful face. "That is correct." The two said at the same time. Sometimes I wondered if they were twins, literally.

"Well then, answer me this; _How is it possible to have a "civil" war?_"Rosie asked again, grinning in victory.

Jasper stared at her, like she was kidding before sighing and taking his wallet out, giving her a $20. Bella followed suit and threw down a $20 as well.

"You win." Jasper said, now with defeat in his voice. Bella nodded at him. Then, the two went off, leaving Alice and Edward stunned that their mates had just lost to my wife of all people in the world.

I took my chance then. "Ha! Take that bro and sis! My wife just whooped your asses!" I yelled. And then, I was hit, seven times, and hard at that. You see, while I was yelling, Jasper and Bella had come back, and then Esme and Carlisle slapped my arms, Rose hit my head, Alice hit my forehead, Edward hit the back of my head, and then Jasper hit me twice in the chest, one for him and one for Bella.

I went off to sulk. Everyone laughed.

**A/N: Hope ya'll enjoyed that! If you have any quotes you want me to use, let me know! & Merry late holidays. 1-11-09 revisions made.**


	4. Swear Mom, Swear

**A/N: Been awhile guys. But hey, I'm back with a new chapter. This time it's Esme's point of view. Also if you like supernatural, and love Twilight, check out Bring Me A Tear/Scream For Us. :D**

**EsPOV:**

My sons were so very wonderful, oh yes, how I loved them so. But this, this absolutely topped it all off! They had tried to set each other on fire, then they just had to break the coffee table. I love them and all, but this was enough. I just wanted to scream my head off, until I saw Carlisle return from work.

He gave a once over at the broken coffee table, then the window where you could clearly see all of the children, the boys wrestling, and the girls talking.

"I'll be in the study." he murmured, before racing up at top notch speed. Ugh! He's just going to let it go like that!? Fine. I'll solve it my way.

Then my angelic - not - son, Edward, had to walk in, look at me, and say; "Mom, _when angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear._" Then he walked back outside, and tackled Jasper.

I sighed, sat on the couch, and began mumbling out curses. This really was getting annoying, I mean, every week, there was some sort of item broken in my house. So I took Edward's advice to the next level. "Boys?" I called angelically.

They heard my tone, and raced in, very quickly. "Yes, mom?" Emmett asked, hesitantly. I looked out the window, and saw Alice whispering for the other two girls to hear, and then the girls all laughing. I gained an evil grin then. Punishments.

"Punishments, boys. Emmett, no sex, Jasper, no studying or teaching about the Civil War, and Edward, no music, or instruments. This lasts for a month. You're free to go." With that said, I happily now, made my way into the kitchen to make something for Bella.

**A/N: Hope ya'll enjoyed that! If you have any quotes you want me to use, let me know! Also, what did ya'll think of Esme's POV?**


	5. Titanic Sinks, Ark Floats

**A/N: I'm at it again already. Even though I'm sick. **

**BPOV:**

Was it just me, or was the movie _Titanic_ just that sad, really? I was really leaning towards it being just me, but Esme was just sniffling away her dry sobs as she watched Jack get tied to the beams. I really couldn't care about Rose much, I mean, she just kind of creeped me out in the movie.

"Rosalie?" I faintly heard Emmett call from the kitchen - Lord knows what he was doing in there. "I kind of blew up the toaster..." he said, a little softer than he normally did.

"You what?!" Rosalie yelled, walking into the kitchen, after she had dashed down the stairs, in a blonde and white flash.

"I. Blew. The. Toaster. Up." he said slower. I groaned. Couldn't they tell that Esme and I were trying to watch a movie here? Or did they just think it was background noise? Ugh. Just a reason to hate when Edward, Alice, and Carlisle go out hunting.

With a sad look, I turned to Esme. She smiled in return, got up, and the next thing I heard was two identical smacks. Emmett and Rosalie. I snickered under my breath. "Taken care of, dear." Esme softly smiled as she re-entered the room and the noise in the kitchen died down.

"Thanks, Mom." I answered in return, as I turned my attention back to the movie. It was now to the part where Jack was drowning in the ocean waters. This was also the saddest part, the part where I always started crying.

That got me thinking though, when the credits began to roll. The _Titanic_ was launched 1911 in May, and sank April 1912. So that means Edward, Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper were alive then. So they all heard the horrible news. And that also meant Jasper was home. I've got an evil plan now.

"Jasper?" I called out, in a small voice, knowing he could hear me. He was down the stairs in an instant, after all, we'd spent quite awhile desensitizing him from blood, so he was perfectly used to me now.

"Yes my dear apprentice of crime?" he asked, in his southern accent.

"Did you know _amateurs built the ark, but professionals built the Titanic..._?" I asked.

"Yeah? A point there?"

"The Ark lasted, the _Titanic_ sank. Sad but true."

In the kitchen, I could now hear Emmett's booming laugh, Rosalie' bell-like laugh, and in the parlor, Esme's motherly laugh. Jasper however, standing in front of me, was in hysterics. By the time he had calmed down, the hunting party had returned.

Edward, and Carlisle, were coming through the back door, which was in the kitchen, as Rosalie and Emmett had kept laughing. Alice appeared through the side door, and then, her eyes lit up, when she saw her husband, rolling on the floor.

"What'd you do this time, Bella?" Carlisle asked, as he pushed open the swinging kitchen door, holding it open for Edward to get through.

"Just made a statement of facts. I'm sure you can get it out of one their heads. Till then, Emmett and I have some sibling bonding to do. Right Emmy-bear?" I asked, as he burst through the door, knocking both my Edward, and his father over. I giggled slightly, as he picked me up, and ran towards the forest. From what I knew, Edward was chasing after us, wanting me back already.

**A/N: Hit or miss? Till next time. -Heather**


	6. Regular Peps

**A/N: Been awhile my great friends. Good news? I got a new keyboard. So all my keys work, and the computer's way faster. ;)**

**JPOV:**

Rawr. No, wait, that's not right. Damn Emmett. I've been hanging out with him and his bear-like instincts for far too long. All the mental scars I have gained from him over just the passed few hours, were never going to be erased, not even by my dear Alice. It really was just that bad, if you understand me.

Really, you try listening to Emmett talk about his sex life, with every last detail. Sometimes I bring myself to wonder if Carlisle can find a short term memory thing. Because Emmett and vampire memory capacity are just cruel. Very cruel. Just look at Edward, he's still a virgin at heart, but mentally, Emmett has scarred him existence too.

"Jasper! Shut up. Your mental rants are annoying!" Prude. Prude. Prude! I shouted in my head at my all so loving brother, even though he was nowhere in the house. That was when I got the idea to leave.

To Bella's I shall go!

Thus, I excitedly took the bike Edward had gave me, since Bella gave up riding, and threw my unneeded helmet on, and I was off. It took me only mere minutes to get there, seeing how I was faster than Edward ever dreamed of being on a motorcycle.

So, as I parked my awesome bike, leaped onto Bella's windowsill, and was in her room, I screamed.

_"I see regular people!"_

And then Bella screamed. It was an instant reaction, I guess, because then I screamed again. Great.

**A/N: Done. I just love picking on my poor Jazz-hands, as you can see. ;) -Heather**


	7. His Hair Is Silver? No!

**A/N: Hey guys, so, I'm late, I know. Scream For Us and Bring Me Tear will be updated THIS weekend. So, here we have me and my friend making making fun of poor Jasper's hair in the movie.**

**HPOV: (Heather;Me, Brittany;Friend)**

"Hey, Heather. Guess what?" Brittany suddenly asked me out of nowhere. Her eyes gleamed with an evil sparkle, causing me to want to scoot my desk back in our civics teachers room. She has the force of all the demons in hell put together to kill us...Literally. Her hatred is strong, her comedy is hilarious, yet, scary.

"What, Britt?" I replied, shoving my red and black binder to the front of the desk so I could throw a book down again. Poor Ohio achievement test booklet. Poor poor thing. Not.

"I still swear Jasper's hair looks hilarious. I mean, like you said, he stuck his finger in a light socket for my sake!" she exclaimed quietly, causing me to laugh.

"Britt, _Silence is golden, duct tape is silver_." I snickered as she hit me with her pen.

**A/N: True story! XD Very true, though.**


	8. Death? Pfft, I Laugh

**A/N: I believe I owe you guys another chapter. Sorry for the lateness?**

**BPOV:**

I grinned lightly, as Edward sat down beside me in Biology. He looked at me, when Jasper walked in - he had volunteered to help with the Future Business Men Of The Nation (FBMN). Which, Edward, Jasper, and I, needed to graduate from high school. I was betting that Jasper could feel my dangerous mood, as he scooted part of his desk over to my table.

"Jasper," Edward greeted lightly, as I almost burst out laughing. Jasper looked at me, a blonde eyebrow raised.

"Hi Jazzy-bear." I giggled out, as he laughed lightly at me. I raised my eyebrows at him this time, as he looked me with his most vampiric look, which, was really not too scary at all.

"Bella," he warned lightly, growling softly, as he was going to push me into Edward. I pur my hand up, as Edward grabbed my shoulders.

"_I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?_" I asked him, now full out giggling. I did this all on purpose, and Jazzy knew it, I sang in my head.

**A/N: I'm done wasting life time now. -Heather**


	9. Grow Up!

**A/N: To make up for my two month hiatus from here, another chapter for those months! :D**

**BPOV:**

Emmett was trying to tell jokes, but like Rosalie said, he was a failure when it came to really good ones. As he was about to tell one about 'Superman', I tuned him out, and open _Wuthering Heights_, for the twelth time since I had been there.

"Emmett! Shut up!" Rosalie yelled from Alice's bathroom, where she was sjowering, because Emmett had tried to prank her.

I sighed, and yelled back to her. "_Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional..._"

**A/N: There we go. -Heather.**


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